Before you have your baby, you may feel excited, nervous, and scared all at the same time. After delivery, you may experience bouts of anger and post partum rage that you didn’t expect.
All of these symptoms are normal and if you are experiencing them, know that you are not alone. Let’s explore the experience of post partum rage during the days, weeks, and months post-childbirth, as well as tips on how to tackle these feelings and get the help you need to feel like yourself again.
How is post partum rage defined?
While each person is different, you may experience postpartum rage in the following ways:
- intense anger,
- fierce aggression,
- overwhelming agitation,
- excessive fury, and
- uncontrollable rage.
While this is not specifically diagnosable according to the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, 5th edition), it can be a symptom of other official post partum disorders like postpartum depression (PPD) or postpartum anxiety (PPA).
What can cause post partum rage?
You may experience post partum rage because of hormonal changes that occur after childbirth. In particular, your levels of the hormones progesterone and estrogen drop drastically. Your decrease in these hormones can cause both physiological and emotional changes in a new mother.
Along with hormonal issues, having a family history of depression may make you more susceptible to post partum rage. Having both a genetic predisposition and witnessing someone walk through depressive episodes when you were younger can influence how you cope with the waves of emotions post-childbirth.
Speaking of emotions after having a baby, these can also cause post partum rage in and of themselves. The fluctuating of emotions, the highs and lows, can wreak havoc within you. Experiencing wild mood swings could easily send someone who didn’t just have a baby into a state of rage. Add in everything that goes with caring for a newborn, and you can sometimes feel like you are in a “perfect storm” situation.
Caring for a new baby changes your life from top to bottom. Some of these changes you experience may be:
- getting up at night to feed the baby,
- doing the bare minimum to keep the house reasonably clean,
- allowing your body to heal,
- managing the care of a tiny human, and
- having a major shift in priorities.
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed as you are reading this, check out our article on overwhelm to help you find a way out.
Finally, it is well-known that there are an unreasonable number of social expectations around being pregnant and having a child. Everyone has their own opinions on how you should best care for your child, and when you hear those opinions from family or close friends, let alone complete strangers, navigating them may become extremely challenging.
What are the symptoms of post partum rage?
Many of the symptoms of post partum rage you may be feeling are common when compared with other disorders and normal for life after child birth. It is important to look at how many and how intense your symptoms are. As always, if you suspect you may be experiencing post partum rage, please reach out to someone.
The symptoms you may experience include, but are not limited to:
- extreme irritability to the point that someone else breathing could set you off,
- intense anger you feel like you are not able to control,
- excessive crying, especially over things you normally wouldn’t cry about,
- increase in screaming or swearing, particularly if you don’t usually scream or swear much,
- physical expressions of rage, like punching walls or throwing things,
- crippling anxiety that can cause you to have difficulty breathing or make you feel like you are unable to do the next thing you need to do,
- negative feelings toward or minimal interest in being around or doing things for the baby,
- lack of interest in doing daily activities, such as showering, doing laundry, or making and eating food,
- feelings of worthlessness from all of the times may you feel like you don’t measure up to society’s standards, and
- withdrawing from people around you and not wanting to engage with anyone, by phone, text, or in-person.
What could help post partum rage?
Although asking for help while postpartum can be especially anxiety-provoking, it is important for your health, as well as that of your child’s, to reach out. The more you talk about it, the more confident you may feel. Please know that there are treatment methods and coping mechanisms that may help you move toward wholeness.
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Online therapy and medication
Both of these can serve as aids to help you walk this part of your life journey. Online therapy allows you to express your feelings in a safe space. Online therapy also gives you a friendly outsider’s viewpoint. Sometimes you get so stuck in the emotions of what you are struggling with that it can be hard to see a way out. Additionally, there are some medications that may help tame your emotions, while still being safe to take when you are breastfeeding.
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Take a breath
Practice some breathing techniques and show yourself some compassion. What you are going through is a lot. It is okay to be feeling big emotions right now. This is not a flaw in your character or a sign you are not a good mother. Make sure to take care of yourself, as best you can, by taking a 10 minute walk, taking a short nap, or reading a chapter in a book.
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Perfection doesn’t exist
Know that there are no perfect moms out there. All moms go through good and bad times. Our society has set up the “ideal” mother as one who does everything effortlessly and with a smile on her face. This is just not true. Doing your best does not mean you are going to be perfect, and your best is going to look different from other moms’ bests.
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Seek support from others
It is important to know you are not alone. This can include sharing with your significant other, or family members, specific ways they can help you out. If this is not an option for you, look for support groups of other moms, either in person or online. Ask your doctor’s office if they know of any local resources; this may reduce the research you need to do.
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Assess stressors and triggers
Think about what exactly is you the most and learn to recognize what triggers the rage. Knowing your stressors and triggers can help you set up boundaries. This can look like turning down your phone’s volume when you need a break, making sure you allow yourself even little pockets of space to rest, or not working on anything other than what your child needs past a certain time. If you are under a lot of stress, read over our article on relieving stress after you are done with this one.
Help is available with Makin Wellness
Knowing that there is a safe space in which to address your post partum rage can be comforting. Makin Wellness offers you trusted online therapy that removes the burden of having to drive to an in-person appointment.
Online therapy provides a personal space to:
- Learn about post partum rage;
- Practice therapeutic techniques with professional guidance;
- Build practical coping tools; and
- Set goals that reflect your values.
You deserve to feel empowered in your motherhood journey. Your Makin Wellness therapist is here to help when you’re ready.
If you are unsure whether this kind of treatment is right for you, don’t worry, your therapist can help answer any questions you have about the postpartum symptoms you are experiencing. Call us at (833)-274-heal [add tel: link] or click here to schedule an appointment with one of our caring online therapists today.
