Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Even so, we’re not here to talk about that. So what does the burnt toast theory have to do with your mental health?
What is the burnt toast theory?
The burnt toast theory is getting a lot of attention on social media. It is the idea that small disruptions happen for a reason. Therefore, this theory encourages you to take minor frustrations more lightly.
The namesake example is that you burn your toast and have to make more, which means you leave your house slightly later than you planned. In leaving later, you find that you missed being in a car accident on your way to work. What started as a setback turns into a blessing in disguise.
Other examples of delays that fit into the burnt toast theory are:
- forgetting your wallet or purse,
- getting a flat tire,
- making a wrong turn,
- missing the bus, or
- missing a flight.
Some of the most amazing stories about people who were not in the Twin Towers when they usually would have been on 9/11/01 involve missing a flight, being late, or getting stuck in traffic – lifesaving examples of the burnt toast theory in action.
What experiences could set you up to experience the burnt toast theory?
There are many reasons why you may get exceptionally frustrated with minor delays, including:
- seeing this behavior modeled around you as you were growing up,
- having a history of trauma,
- feeling stressed,
- needing to control your environment, and
- having a pessimistic outlook.
How can the burnt toast theory improve your day?
The burnt toast theory is about changing your perspective on minor negative hindrances. As you likely know from experience, starting your morning in a bad mood can become a self-fulfilling prophecy for the rest of the day.
Rather than being upset and frustrated all day, taking time to breathe and put things into perspective can shift your focus to a healthier mindset. Looking at life through the burnt toast theory allows you to shift your focus from something small to a bigger picture. It can also be good for:
- increasing your self-compassion – allowing you to give yourself some grace for making mistakes,
- improving your distress tolerance – this gets you used to not stressing over insignificant bumps so that you don’t let the little things bother you,
- learning to be more mindful – by stopping, breathing, calming yourself, and refocusing,
- moving you forward – you can start to look beyond the inconvenience and focus on your next step,
- focusing on faith – you may see these delays as God’s way of protecting you from potentially harmful situations, and
- seeing choices – it can be empowering to know that you have a choice in how you respond to a small setback.
Can the burnt toast theory have unintended consequences?
Taken to an extreme, the burnt toast theory can crossover into an overly sparkly place: toxic positivity. In this context, you overcompensate and make every situation “positive”.
Toxic positivity doesn’t allow for your real feelings to be expressed. It can turn the burnt toast theory into a trivialization of significant life events.
If you lose a loved one, it says, “At least they’re in a better place.” If you are diagnosed with a major health issue, it says, “You’re strong, you’ll beat this.” The truth is that you are entitled to feel sad when bad things happen.
Additionally, the burnt toast theory generally applies mainly to day-to-day frustrations. Even though it can start you on a path to seeing annoying situations more optimistically, you may need to address some habits to see an overall improvement in your outlook.
If you see everything as negative, a growth mindset can aid you in seeing that not everything is bad. You can learn to combat negative self-talk by focusing on your strong traits, not just the things you believe are bad about yourself.
This can also lead to an increase in self-care. When you can’t see much good in life, you may not care for yourself well. Self-care is not just grabbing a cup of fancy coffee or taking a long bubble bath. It can be as simple as taking a hot shower or stopping to read a good book.
Why go beyond the burnt toast theory?
As mentioned above, there are many reasons why you might get overly angered by disruptive life occurrences. Some of those reasons require more than a simple positivity exercise to see improvement. If you see how using the burnt toast theory could start to improve your day, and you want to grow even further, you may want to consider online therapy.
Online therapy allows you to be more in control of where and when you meet, meaning you don’t have to worry about traffic, vehicle issues, or remaking food, causing you to be late. Online therapy can help you work through trauma, which may reduce your hypervigilance and, in turn, reduce your frustration in response to slight inconveniences.
Additionally, online therapy can give you a neutral sounding board for how you learned to respond to life’s pressures growing up. Finally, just talking to someone about what’s going on in your life can reduce your stress.
You deserve to be able to see the positive in the negative. Your Makin Wellness online therapist is here to help when you’re ready.
If you are unsure whether this kind of treatment is right for you, don’t worry, your therapist can help answer any questions you have about implementing the burnt toast theory in your daily life. Call us at (833)-274-heal or click here to schedule an appointment with one of our caring online therapists today.
Conclusion: embracing your authentic self
Understanding whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert isn’t about placing yourself in a box—it’s about learning how you thrive and what environments help you feel at ease. Each personality type brings its strengths, and knowing where you fit on the introvert vs extrovert spectrum can guide you toward a balanced life that is true to who you are.
If you’re ready to explore your personality type and learn more about caring for yourself, remember that support is available. A Makin Wellness online counselor can help you navigate your mental health journey with empathy, guidance, and personalized strategies.
Call us at (833)-274-heal or schedule an appointment to get started. Embrace the journey of self-discovery, knowing that whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between, you have everything you need to thrive.
