You’re in a discussion with a friend, and they ask how you feel about a particular situation you’re going through right now. You may know how you feel inside, yet struggle to find the right words to express your feelings. Sometimes, choosing the right words to describe emotions can mean the difference between being understood and being misconstrued.
For example, if you tell someone that you are intimidated by what they said when you are actually anxious about what they said, the other person may get the message that you think they are overbearing, when really, you think the suggestion they made is risky.
In this article, we’ll discuss how to 1) identify your feelings, 2) talk about them, and 3) provide you with an emotional vocabulary list for when another word might work better.
Why it can be good to talk about your emotions
Keeping your emotions bottled up inside can affect both your mental and physical health. It could trigger mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Along with that, not expressing your emotions might also cause physical symptoms such as:
- high blood pressure,
- psoriasis,
- weakness,
- fatigue,
- visual blurring, and
- shortness of breath.
Being more open about your feelings could promote healthier coping skills and stronger personal relationships. Additionally, it could enhance your self-awareness and decision-making skills.
Why you might have trouble naming your emotions
There are plenty of reasons it could be hard for you to share your feelings. First off, you might just be afraid to. Perhaps you’ve had many people in your life dismiss your feelings or get angry when you shared how you felt. If that resonates with you, you might have to learn how to find your voice and speak up again.
Second, you may not know how to express your emotions. The people you grew up around might not have modeled emotional openness. That could have been due to cultural beliefs that emphasized the importance of appearing strong and in control. You might not even be familiar with common words to describe emotions.
Third, you could be attempting to discuss a challenging topic with someone. You might be concerned about how the other person is going to react to what you are going to say.
Finally, you may be more introverted and struggle to initiate conversations with people in general. The idea of sharing your personal emotions could feel quite overwhelming for you.
How to talk about your feelings
If you are not comfortable or you do not know how to talk about your feelings, we have a few practical suggestions for you. You might not need to use them all, so choose which ones you think may work for you, and maybe challenge yourself to choose one or two that could move you out of your comfort zone a bit as well.
We recommend that you:
- Take deep breaths to regulate your nervous system and reduce stress. It helps bring your fight-or-flight response back into balance.
- Choose the right person and the right time to talk. It may not be helpful to start by sharing your emotions with someone who consistently dismisses your feelings. Also, choose a time to talk when both of you are available to be present for the conversation; for example, a holiday party is probably not the best time for a heart-to-heart.
- Practice the conversation beforehand. Take notes to prepare and find a friend to have a trial talk. Be specific and clear. Sometimes, it can even be beneficial to have a friend accompany you for moral support if you are expecting a negative response from the other person.
- Identify and accept your emotions before speaking with the other person. Doing this creates space for you to grapple with your own feelings first. Understanding your emotions could help you feel more confident going into the discussion.
Consider using the sandwich method when addressing an issue you are having with someone. This is when you surround an unfavorable opinion between two upbeat ones. Doing so can soften the interaction and keep it from focusing only on the negative observation.
4 Ways to identify your emotions and build a personal emotional vocabulary list
Since it can be tough to understand your emotions if you are new to it, here are some ways to learn how to identify your emotions and build your own emotional vocabulary list.
- Journaling: Writing down how you are feeling can not only help you identify your emotions; it might also help you process them.
- Use a feelings wheel: This is a visual tool that represents various words to describe emotions. It begins in the center with basic emotions and becomes more specific as you move outward.
- There’s an app for that: There are numerous apps you can access through your app store that might help you unpack your feelings. They offer ways to name your emotions, recognize and track patterns, and provide space for journaling.
- Research words for emotions: Knowing a wide range of words to describe emotions may help you be more specific about how you feel. Below is a list that could expand your emotional vocabulary.
8 Emotional categories and 80 words to describe emotions
The following is a list of emotional vocabulary examples, broken down into 8 major categories of words to describe emotions. Remember: this list is certainly not exhaustive! Instead, think of it as a foundation for you to build on over time. Feel free to consult a dictionary if you would like to understand any of the words below better, or a thesaurus if you would like to find other words with similar meanings.
Anger
- contempt
- exasperation
- fury
- frustration
- irritation
- rage
- hostility
- bitterness
- resentment
- outrage
- scorn
Happy
- cheerful
- content
- ecstatic
- pleased
- joyful
- wonderful
- fulfilled
- proud
- hopeful
- excited
Fear
- alarmed
- apprehensive
- dread
- terrified
- intimidated
- distressed
- horrified
- shocked
- frightened
- anxious
Affection
- close
- devoted
- enamored
- infatuated
- adoring
- caring
- fond
- loving
- lustful
- passionate
Sadness
- gloomy
- devastated
- heartbroken
- despair
- grieved
- melancholic
- disappointed
- defeated
- agonized
Calm
- collected
- mellow
- peaceful
- relaxed
- at ease
- comforted
- unburdened
- refreshed
- soothed
- undisturbed
Surprise
- amazed
- astonished
- startled
- stunned
- dumbfounded
- shocked
- jarred
- jolted
- shaken
- bewildered
Ashamed
- embarrassed
- humiliated
- mortified
- dismayed
- red-faced
- stupid
- demeaned
- flustered
- foolish
- self-conscious
What if you need additional help?
As you begin to distinguish between your emotions, it is not uncommon to feel like you might need some additional support. Finding the right words is all about communicating the truth of what you are feeling to others – so it helps to have a safe, supportive person to discuss your feelings with.
That’s where online therapy comes in. Having the space and time to talk with a trusted online therapist can enhance how you understand your emotions, empower you to foster greater self-compassion, and serve as a valuable sounding board to guide your journey.
Anytime you do anything that concerns your emotions, it has the potential to get messy (and often does). At Makin Wellness, we know how to address the mess that comes with emotional growth. We offer sensitive and encouraging online therapy, where you can learn to use accurate words to describe the emotions you are feeling.
Online therapy provides a supportive space to:
- Learn how to talk about your feelings;
- Practice expressing your emotions;
- Improve your interactions with others; and
- Set goals that reflect your values.
You are worthy of knowing and having your emotions heard and validated – and your Makin Wellness online therapist is here to help when you’re ready.
If you are unsure whether online therapy is right for you, don’t worry, your online therapist can help answer any questions you have about finding the right words to describe emotions. Call us at (833)-274-heal or click here to schedule an appointment with one of our caring online therapists today.
