Communication & Love

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Love is communicated in various ways. Through the written and spoken word, gift giving, acts of kindness, and by spending quality time together.  Healthy communication helps us form loving, meaningful connections with others. These kinds of connections are of utmost importance in happiness and feelings of fulfillment. Love is a basic human need, so how can we communicate with love?

Unhealthy communication brings about misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Name calling, yelling, and hurtful speech are all forms of unhealthy communication. Instead of creating loving bonds, this kind of communication can leave feelings of hurt and resentment. Rather than creating a safe space for open and loving communication, it creates an environment of hostility, drawing a wedge between people. Continuous hurtful, and even harmful communication such as this can have lasting negative effects on the mind and body communication

In the emotional part of the brain, known as the limbic system, the amygdala is directly linked to the emotional response to stimuli.  Arousal, memory, fear, emotional response, and hormonal secretions, are all part of the function of the amygdala. Cortisol, the stress hormone, is released in situations of elevated stress.

According to psychologytoday.com,  “The stress hormone, cortisol, is public health enemy number one. Scientists have known for years that elevated cortisol levels: interfere with learning and memory, lower immune function and bone density, increase weight gain, blood pressure, cholesterol, and heart disease.” We therefore want to do our best to reduce excess stress!

We may confront multiple situations each day that  create feelings of anxiety and frustration, at home and at work. Communication can either make or break a relationship, creating discord or unity. In times of differing opinion, how can we respond versus react? How can we approach these instances in a way that promotes loving communication?

Consider some practical ways to diffuse a situation when emotions are running high:

  • Deep Breathing – When confronting a difficult circumstance, take a few minutes to breathe deep to reduce cortisol levels. Breathe slowly for six seconds through the nose, and another six seconds out through the mouth. Try this 6 times, while sitting down.
  •  Take a Walk – Walking can promote the release of endorphins, helping to clear the mind. Having a clear head before confronting a stressful situation will ease the tension a bit.
  • Listen – Allowing the other person to express feelings and concerns freely will avoid misunderstandings, helping the other person to feel heard. Listening without interrupting shows respect and concern.
  • Talk Over a Meal –  A nourishing meal can be comforting, allowing for a peaceful environment. Feeling “hangry” will only exasperate the situation.
  • Diffuse Essential Oils  Literally diffuse the situation.  The use of therapeutic grade essential oils, like Young Living essential oils, can promote a calming atmosphere. Lavender, vanilla, and orange has shown to lift the mood and soothe stress.

Healthy communication can bridge the gap between misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Taking time to listen and speak with love and intention will allow for mutual respect and feelings of care. Love covers a multitude of sins!

At times, a mediator is necessary when trying to come to a resolution. If you’d like support with healthy communication techniques, call now for a free consultation!

laura stewart

Laura Stewart
B.A., CHN
Sara Makin MSEd, LPC, NCC

Sara Makin MSEd, LPC, NCC

All articles are written in conjunction with the Makin Wellness Research Team.

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