21 Questions For A New Relationship: The Secret To A Love That Lasts

21 questions for a new relationship

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Have you recently started a new relationship and want to ensure it lasts? If so, you could benefit from our 21 questions for a new relationship.

Starting a new relationship can be both exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. Whether it’s your first time dating or getting back out in the dating world, knowing how to start a relationship on the right foot can feel confusing.

If you’ve dated before, you want to ensure this one is different from the last. If this is your first relationship, you may feel nervous about how to do things “right.”

Communication is one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship. Statistics show that about 68% of marriages ended primarily because of communication issues. Asking open-ended questions can help you discover more about your partner and lay the foundation for a happy, trusting relationship.

This post will give you 21 questions to ask in the beginning of a relationship and why each question is important. Through these questions, you can create the foundation for a lasting connection.

Why Are These Questions Important?

Asking questions is essential to any relationship because it reveals who you are, what you’ve been through, and what is important to you. Asking questions and learning about each other is especially important at the beginning of a relationship because it allows you to find out what makes you compatible and see if you share similar life goals.

More than hobbies or interests, sharing similar values is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. Values tend to solidify and remain stable longer than your favorite band or pastime. This allows people to grow together over time while still exploring new things and changing in other ways.

21 Questions for A New Relationship

With all of this in mind, you’re ready for the questions! Grab your favorite dinner or drink, get comfy, and have fun learning more about your partner!

1. What are your passions in life? 

Asking about your partner’s passions will give you insight into what they enjoy doing and help you understand their values and goals.

2. What is your idea of a perfect weekend?

Knowing what your partner enjoys doing during their free time will help bring you guys closer and will give you ideas for future dates.

3. What was your favorite book or movie from your childhood?

Asking about favorite books or movies from their childhood can be a great way to learn about their upbringing and life experience.

4. What is the most meaningful thing that has ever happened to you? 

Asking about meaningful experiences will help you understand what they consider important in life.

5. What do you look for in a partner?

Understanding what they want in a relationship will help ensure you’re aligned and your expectations are the same.

6. What is your favorite travel destination and why? 

What your partner’s favorite travel destination says about their interests, priorities in travel, and overall personality.

7. What are some of your pet peeves?

Learning about what annoys them can help you avoid doing those things and help you learn how to communicate better.

8. What is one thing you wish you could change about your past?

Asking about their past experiences can help you understand where they’ve been and what they’ve gone through.

9. What qualities do your closest friends have that you most admire?

Understanding what they value in their close friends will help you know what they appreciate in people.

10. What is your relationship like with your family?

Asking about their relationship with their family can give you insight into what they think is important regarding family values.

11. What are your professional goals?

Understanding their professional goals will help you know what they’re working towards and what they want to achieve.

12. What motivates you?

Understanding what motivates someone can help you understand how they approach life.

13. What was the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?

Asking about adventurous experiences will help you learn more about their interests. If you guys share similar ones, this can be something you can do together.

14. What is your favorite way to spend time alone? 

Learning about how they spend their free time alone can help you understand their personality better.

15. What is your love language?

Everybody has a different way of expressing and receiving love, and understanding theirs will help you know how to make them feel loved and valued. To read more about love languages, read more here.

16. What is one thing you’ve always wanted to learn how to do? 

Asking about what they want to learn can give you inspiration for future dates or self-cultivation.

17. What do you feel most proud of?

Knowing what someone is most proud of will give you insight into their values, achievements, and overall self-worth.

18. What are some of your favorite hobbies or activities?

Sharing common interests and hobbies is an excellent way to bond and create deeper connections in a relationship.

19. What are some deal breakers in a relationship for you?

Knowing about deal breakers can prevent any potential hurts or misunderstandings and help you learn how to work towards a healthy relationship.

20. Do you believe in marriage and having a family someday?

Knowing their views and feelings about the commitment of marriage and raising a family can help you understand what they’re looking for in a long-term partner and if you guys share similar views.

21. What are some of your long-term goals?

Asking about long-term goals can help you understand if you guys share the same big-picture ideas.


It’s natural to feel both eager and uncertain when starting a new relationship. Still, asking questions can help build a meaningful relationship by fostering clear communication, trust, and openness.

These 21 questions for a new relationship will help you understand your partner’s values, interests, and life experiences, leading to a deeper and more meaningful connection. Take your time and enjoy the journey of learning and connecting with your special person.

Let us know how it went answering these questions with your partner, and if you have a favorite question not on our list!

Healthy relationships also need help from time to time. If you are experiencing difficulties in your relationship, a therapist might be the missing link for both of you to find clarity and true solutions to your issues. If this resonates with you, Give us a call or make an appointment to get on the path of healing.

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Picture of Sara Makin MSEd, LPC, NCC

Sara Makin MSEd, LPC, NCC

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